I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
