Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
