Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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