Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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