I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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