it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
