The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
