Kareoke will never be a sober sport
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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