Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
