fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
