We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
