Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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