What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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