i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
