hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
