McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
they call him Oral-B. enough said
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
