if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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