There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
