we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize