I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
There r osticjed everywhere
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
