Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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