Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
