if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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