Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
