Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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