so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
