He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
