One girl and one boy is just not enough.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
