I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
