If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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