You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
