You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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