Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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