Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
