im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
