I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
