I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Still dying that you shit outside
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
