dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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