Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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