and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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