You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
