she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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