idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
