Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
