Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
A+ Viking dick
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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