Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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