My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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