please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
