either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
nutella sex= disaster
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
