dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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