i was born a porn star she said
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
