I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
it's like heaven, but drunker
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
