I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
