I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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