are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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