these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
one two three fourrrrnication!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
