She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
