I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You're like the curious george of whores
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
