So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
